so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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