Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
