Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
