My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
