So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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