Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
