I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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