Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
