how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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