Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
