I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
