we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
