Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize