it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
