There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
