if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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