Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
