I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
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I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
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I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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