So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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