You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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