i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
