aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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