I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
