i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
