Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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