Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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