try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
