Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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