RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
