I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize