i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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