wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize