It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
