Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
