I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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