oh god the rape fog is back!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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