this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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