she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
