My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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