Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
