Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
