I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Come on in and take your pants off
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