At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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