He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
