if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
