Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
