You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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