The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize