I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
