another moral hangover. fuck.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all