We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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