I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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