Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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