what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
