I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
