when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
