i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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